Floraidh Laughs At Life's Hardships, Thank You Very Much

Like many lawyers, serial killers and homeowners, occasionally I buy into that old sly trick of believing I am God. Not the God, or a Daniel Craig sort of God, but certainly a God.

Perhaps this is quite a bold statement from the same person who mistook a badger for a hedgehog, thought Nepal was in Asia [just been told this is not the case either. Damnit] and was just recently outed for running partly-nude down the corridor for some inexplicable reason. But hear me out - I think I might actually be onto something.

Reasons Why I'm Doing Okay At Life

Me and my Flo'Fro

It was long in the summer, wavering uncomfortably above my shoulders in September and since now it is short again, I look like Billy Ray Cyrus no longer.

It broke my heart..my achey breaky heart!

Me and my social life

Those who have read this blog from its tender beginnings (and WORD UP all ten of you) will know that for the past year I have not exactly been a social butterfly - is the signifier not the amount of blogs I've posted on this thing? Bloggers are the kind that didn't get out much as children. Except for me, for which this didn't really blossom over the years - until recently! Since arriving back at college this year I have actually found my voice a bit; this once-timid tadpole has grown into a mighty laughing, Strongbow-drinking frog. Hence the significant lack of blogging recently - all that "happy" got in the way. Such a selfish turn of events.

Me and my musical infatuations

Who else has had Muse's triumphant seventh album The Second Law on the loop since it's release? (And if not, why haven't you, by the way?) After the bitter after-coffee taste of The Resistance and countless whispers of "haven't I heard Queen do this sort of thing?" Muse are back to being funky and wonderfully without a particular genre to slap on them.

Yeah, Matty B, you go man.

Me and my job

For fear of being a complete bum, I have gone from being pitifully lazy and dependent to gainfully employed sassy bitch. That's right - I'm a canteen assistant (read: greasy kitchen wench) Okay, so it isn't as slick as my new title suggests; I am one of the reasons behind the Symonds boarders' delightful (ahem) culinary experience. I exist as a backdrop figure in the life of the boarders' time in the canteen, which I do not take great offence to really. The job involves cleaning the kitchen, cleaning kitchen utensils, cleaning up before people eat, cleaning up after people eat and - on a better day - putting cream on peoples' cakes. It isn't glamorous and I can safely say that a flourishing career in the catering industry is not beckoning for me...but it gets me the £££. And of course, I get to wear a cap.

Me and my "gentleman caller" - do we still call them that?

Yep, I get to look at a real guy instead of my Robert Downey Jr calender in the evenings..happy days!

Me and my infinite amount of college work

I suppose this is never really ideal. This is the cloud to my silver lining, to recycle that old proverb. Since entering my A2 year soaring on the glee of my actually-alright AS grades, I get to suffer more than ever to keep them that way. It piles up day after day, I glare willfully at it and implore for it to decrease but, well....

I am Floraidh, Goddess of Procrastination.

Happy Halloween!